I have been living a nightmare since November 23, 2011. The night before Thanksgiving. I got a call that has changed my life forever.
My step-mom called me from their favorite vacation spot in Grand Cayman with a "bit of bad news."
She said my dad had a heart attack that day, and had passed away.
I don't remember much from that point on to now. All I know is that I lost a man in my life that was kind, and was beautiful in every way. The world has truly lost one of the good guys. I feel empty.
If you can imagine, I didn't have much of a Thanksgiving at all. I didn't have a lot to be thankful for. My Dad just died. Too soon.
He didn't get to have a grand child. He didn't get to see me become a nurse.
All of these things ran through my mind. Along with questions like Did he know I loved him? Did I make him proud? And even though he has told me countless times that he loves me, as I have told him, and that I have made him very proud, I still question these things. I am not sure why.
My dad died on November 23 in Grand Cayman while scuba diving. He was 54. Diving the Kittiwake was something he was very excited about, and told me about at least 4 times the last time I saw him a month ago.
I take comfort in that he was doing something he enjoyed, in a beautiful place, and that he didn't suffer.
We are laying him to rest tomorrow at 2:00pm. It has taken this long to get him home due to logistics with the Embassy's and dealing with foreign law. There is a protocol for everything, and nothing is quick.
I have gone through some odd grieving cycles. I feel like I have gone through all of them in the past week and a half, and am beginning to cycle through them again.
Through those stages, I have had a chance to reflect, and realize how blessed I am to have had my dad at so many events, most importantly, my wedding. I used to view my wedding (Reception only- the ceremony was perfect) as a disaster. I now do not have any regrets or upsets from that day. I am blessed to have been able to have my dad walk me down the aisle, share that Father- Daughter dance together, and to give a speech that now means the world to me.
My dad saw me graduate from Texas A&M University, and grow into a woman that I hope he is proud of. We have had many good times together, and each and every memory I have, I cherish.
I miss my dad more than words could probably ever describe, and love him even more. I would be lucky to be half the person he was, and live a life giving selflessly everyday just as he did.
I love you Dad, and I know I will see you again when the Lord calls me. Until then, rest peacefully.
My step-mom called me from their favorite vacation spot in Grand Cayman with a "bit of bad news."
She said my dad had a heart attack that day, and had passed away.
I don't remember much from that point on to now. All I know is that I lost a man in my life that was kind, and was beautiful in every way. The world has truly lost one of the good guys. I feel empty.
If you can imagine, I didn't have much of a Thanksgiving at all. I didn't have a lot to be thankful for. My Dad just died. Too soon.
He didn't get to have a grand child. He didn't get to see me become a nurse.
All of these things ran through my mind. Along with questions like Did he know I loved him? Did I make him proud? And even though he has told me countless times that he loves me, as I have told him, and that I have made him very proud, I still question these things. I am not sure why.
My dad died on November 23 in Grand Cayman while scuba diving. He was 54. Diving the Kittiwake was something he was very excited about, and told me about at least 4 times the last time I saw him a month ago.
I take comfort in that he was doing something he enjoyed, in a beautiful place, and that he didn't suffer.
We are laying him to rest tomorrow at 2:00pm. It has taken this long to get him home due to logistics with the Embassy's and dealing with foreign law. There is a protocol for everything, and nothing is quick.
I have gone through some odd grieving cycles. I feel like I have gone through all of them in the past week and a half, and am beginning to cycle through them again.
Through those stages, I have had a chance to reflect, and realize how blessed I am to have had my dad at so many events, most importantly, my wedding. I used to view my wedding (Reception only- the ceremony was perfect) as a disaster. I now do not have any regrets or upsets from that day. I am blessed to have been able to have my dad walk me down the aisle, share that Father- Daughter dance together, and to give a speech that now means the world to me.
My dad saw me graduate from Texas A&M University, and grow into a woman that I hope he is proud of. We have had many good times together, and each and every memory I have, I cherish.
I miss my dad more than words could probably ever describe, and love him even more. I would be lucky to be half the person he was, and live a life giving selflessly everyday just as he did.
I love you Dad, and I know I will see you again when the Lord calls me. Until then, rest peacefully.
What a beautiful picture. Just in the short time I was around your dad you could tell how much he cared about you. He is most definitely proud of you, do not think otherwise! Thinking of you and your family today, wish I could be there.
ReplyDeleteMeg, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. You and your family are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteI am so sure he was proud of you because you are amazing! I can't wait to see you and give you a BIG hug!!
ReplyDeleteMegan, I am thinking of you. I know you feel a terrible loss. Your memories will always be with you. As a parent, I can tell you that your children are a special blessing and meeting your Dad last spring I know he loved you very much.
ReplyDeleteI'm just now catching up with your posts. So terribly sorry to hear about your father. What an tragedy. My prayers are with you and your family.
ReplyDelete